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May 18th

I have decided to start a business. An odd sentence to start a blog post about. Especially for people who know anything about me. I have been trying to get out of media arts since I went into it. I have spent the last five months trying to get back into University and failing. I recall hating it quite a lot. However, given I can’t go to TAFE, and can’t find a job with my current qualifications, it seemed like my only choice.
I have been manufacturing more things recently, cutting, printing moulding. All that kind of thing for the Daleks. So I have decided to turn that into some kind of business. I have spend most of the last couple of weeks going to endless classes at job agencies, and I can’t stand it anymore. They make my head want to explode from boredom, and eat up so much of the week it isn’t funny.
So I have replaced that course with a ‘business’ course. I am starting it on Monday. I am very worried about it. I don’t think my idea has legs, and I have spent so much of my time avoiding trying to become someone who does that kind of thing. Finding clients, doing commission work etc. Sounds familiar? Well yes, because it’s exactly the same as VFX, only the work is much more physical and expensive. Is it a good idea? I don’t currently think it is.
I can’t get into University without taking high school classes again. I feel like I have been making posts complaining about that since 2004 now. (This blog is nearly 10 years old shortly. That’s a scary thought.)

The other news is: I am having a baby. I don’t think I have mentioned it here, thanks to making exactly one blog post this year, showing a completed Dalek. Not even a single thing about the process of making one. That’s certainly something.
We are twelve weeks away from the life changing event that is having a new member of the family. The road has been full of ups and downs, and Hannah has been going through it while I can only offer supporting hugs from time to time, and occasional cups of tea. It’s certainly something that is going to change my life forever.

But I need to do everything and anything to change my life and get an income three years of unemployment has changed me quite a lot, and has worn me down completely flat. It’s left me feeling exhausted, tired and unable to see past it. People constantly tell me it will pass, and if someone had told me three years ago that I would be in EXACTLY the same position as I was in three years time, only fatter, balder and significantly less happy, then I honestly don’t know how I would have coped.

I would love to say my business idea has filled me with a gusto that I haven’t felt before, but it feels like a solemn resignation that could potentially end with me in a far worse situation than I am now.

In other news, we went to Sydney harbour for a weekend, stayed at a backpackers and saw Hannah’s family. That was fun, but coming back to nothing has hit hard. I have spent every waking moment of the last three years working as hard as I can keeping my skills up to date, working solidly on projects, applying for work and just keeping my energy levels right up. ‘Making a job out of getting a job’, as they tell you. Something I have failed to do at an alarming rate.

Anyway. You might see this blog updated more. Starting Monday for seven weeks I away learning about being a capitalist.

Goodbye for now, but not forever blog.

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