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10th June

Still have left the course.

I currently have nothing on. No work of any kind. I am just sitting about waiting. I am not even applying for jobs at the moment. I know if you don't apply you won't get them. But I have writen THOUSANDS of job applications over the last three years and had next to no callbacks, certainly none in the last 12 months. Not a single one. I got an email this year rejecting me, and even that felt like a positive thing.

I have been trying to get into University. But didn't get in. Horrah. So now it's probably a matter of waiting until March next year before I apply again. Another six months of my life fucking wasted doing nothing.

I can't describe how frustrating this is. People tell you not to get ANGRY or FRUSTRATED with it and not to GIVE UP and GET DEPRESSED. But honestly there is only so long you can attempt to be positive towards the whole futile situation before you start setting yourself up for failure through your lack of sucsess.

I said this well over a year ago, but I feel like giving up.

A

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