Log in

Previous Entry | Next Entry


I am so fucking sick of University. I don't know why I went back, and I don't know why the fuck I stayed after week one and I realised I didn't want to continue. I can't stand report writing or essay writing. The programming topic is going through at such a speed that I just can't keep up with it. Massive assignment due tomorrow that I have barely started. Only a couple of hours to go until it's actually due. I will miss that unless I go and do an all nighter on it. And with work tomorrow, that seems a terrible idea.

Every time I am at work I realise how much I hate it, and want to do something that I -I don't want to say enjoy- but something that I don't despise doing so much. It's depressing me and getting to me to such an extent I am having trouble describing. I don't seem to be able to complain because in three years it's the only part time job I have managed to find, and I should be greateful for it.

I need to go University to get another job, and I need to work in order to push myself out of the poverty line that I have been sitting in for so many months. All I seem to do is work on assignments, go to work, and see my daughter in the moments when I wake up and go to bed. It's exhausting me, and I honestly cannot see an end to it. Doing two subjects at a time this undergraduate degree is going to take me another six years to complete. Longer if I don't manage to learn to program competently in the next twelve hours. I can't do this for six years, after four months I am drained and have run out of steam. Once I get in too far I won't be able to stop.

I would like to study something I like or enjoy. I did that of course, and that put me in the situation I am in now. And this is the best option I could come up with.

I am so fucking sick of this. I honestly can't remember a time here where I wasn't feeling unhappy. I need something to change, and I don't have a clue what that is.


Latest Month

February 2017


Powered by LiveJournal.com
Designed by Tiffany Chow